Thursday, May 3, 2012

Juz Two Steps

Its juz two steps between you and me,
two steps between knowing and believing,
two steps to take that stand,
two steps to know where we stand,
two step to know if its real,
two steps to leave behind the fear,
two steps to know its worthwhile,
two steps to know if its gonna get tossed off the isle,
two steps to know if this is for a lifetime,
two steps to know if we are just wasting time,
either ways...
It's juz two steps..

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

30 Rocks!

30 Rocks!
I celebrated my 30th birthday when I was 29 (5 years ago). No, I was not in a hurry to turn 30 nor was I looking forward to it. It was a miscalculation of age which is a usual occurrence with me.  In fact, far from looking forward to turning 30 I was pretty nervous about it. My brain was completing the usual thought ‘I am 30 already’ with ‘I haven’t found my dream job yet’, ‘I haven’t discovered my passion in life yet’, ‘I haven’t found my soul mate yet’, ‘I haven’t started planning my retirement yet’….. and the list went on. I think god has programmed the brain to trigger particular type of questions at some landmark ages.
However, 4 years into my 30’s and I feel this is the phase of life that has made me grow up more than the 29 years before that. It’s a funny feeling sometimes when you calculate the average life span and realize oh! at 34 I am at the mid of my life term! Thank God the mid life crisis hasn’t hit yet. In fact I believe that it’s at this time that we really grow as individuals. We finally understand other people, our outlook towards life broadens, we learn to take responsibility of ourselves and others and most importantly we learn how to truly know and admit when we are wrong. A few years ago I failed to see my mistakes or when I did see them also I was too prudent to accept. And today when I look back I laugh at myself because with time I have learnt that a peaceful life cannot be lived in denial. A few days back I got slapped by a friend and the denial of my fault lasted for just 24 hours and then the truth that it was indeed my fault dawned upon me.  Most people don’t learn from their mistakes because they don’t see their mistake in the first case. We blame a misfortune to destiny and move on without learning anything from it. Well, thankfully that’s one thing 30’s has changed about me (with help from some close friends).
So 30 doesn’t just rock because it suddenly turns a magic wand and makes you smarter. By this time most of us learn the basics of enjoying life, having a good work-fun balance, spending time with family. And also for people who start working early in life I feel this is the phase where we get a second chance to spare time for art, for something we always wanted to do. It gives us time and maybe reason to start looking inwards again and lead us to spirituality in some degree. I have amazing people around me whom I see doing rocking things in their 30’s….. Farida being one who apart from being a mother, a corporate woman and a great friend has also become a Tarot Reader, Hypnotherapist and also does Reiki! Most of my friends have started meditating and some who were not avid readers have become regulars at Landmark. A couple are actively helping NGO and there are some who are leaving the corporate life to start their own small ventures.
 I could actually keep writing about this. But to keep it short, it’s an amazing phase of life to be in. We have the financial independence, more time and even more will to do things we wanted to do. We are expected to be mature but yet totally accepted when we are being kiddish. Friends and colleagues who are in their 20’s make us feel smart and mature and yet help us stay young at heart and the ones in 40’s make us feel young and adventurous while sharing their pearls of wisdom with us. And most importantly we begin to find our true self …again…

So even though I haven’t ‘I haven’t found my dream job yet’, ‘I haven’t discovered my passion in life yet’, ‘I haven’t found my soul mate yet’, ‘I haven’t started planning my retirement yet’… I am more at peace with myself than I have ever been and I totally believe that 30 Rocks!
P.S - I was trying to get my laptop fixed about an hour back when my best friend from college Vibha (aged 35) called and asked which is the game we are playing on FaceBook  currently.. Diamond Dash I said and she replied “maine tujhe extra life bheji us game mein… tune kyu nahi bheji mujhe!” ….lolzzz …. No matter what the age.. the kid in us never dies!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Train Reaction

This is coming a little over a few days after I had the insightful commute by the local train but I feel like it was just an hour ago. So finally I have started commuting by train to work after years and it doesn’t feel too different. Isn’t everything supposed to change with time? Doesn’t look like travelling experience in a local train is one of them.

So my random times of leaving office makes me take a train at different times and so I am yet to be the certified train traveler who can take the correct train each time no matter what time it is. I have had the luck of catching the ladies special train just once in 30 days and been lucky enough to get an empty Andheri train just 3 times!

On this particular day I was in a hurry so I boarded the first train that arrived which was a fully packed Andheri train. Getting in wasn’t that difficult because all you have to do is place yourself in the right spot and people will push you in (as long as you can take care of your handbag & laptop). Once in I did not get time to think which side of the compartment I should stand on as my way was steered by the people who had decided to push me ahead and get me to the right spot (how I wish someone could do that for me in life!) With no place to even move I reluctantly gave in to a lady’s suggestion and kept the laptop on the carrier. What a relief it was!

Then with nothing to really take care of I drifted into the zone I usually do when I am in a crowd. Everything seems to become metamorphic and life seems to speak in funny ways. First thing that struck me was the amount of people occupying the space just at the door when they did not even want to get down on the next station. The others who did want to get down at the next stop kept yelling at them and obviously at the next station they got pushed by the ones boarding as well as by the ones who wanted to get down. And yet this apparently is a cycle, after these guys get down there would be others doing the exact same thing. How funny is it that we want to stand ahead in life and occupy the forward space even when it is not required and all it is gonna get us is pain (and sometimes bruises too ) But then again  -  Old habits die hard. So at every station with a whole lot of people who should have been standing ahead to get down trying to push their way out it sounded like a delivery room with screams of ‘Push”… “dhakka maro” ! “aree ruko mat..dhakka maro” . . .  Whew!

But then women are strong, they manage to push their way out, and push some others out as well in the process. To stop hearing the screams I plugged my ear phones on to listen to some good music. Whoever says music is the best stress buster cannot be more correct. Immediately from a chaotic train ride the commute started to feel like a nice journey back home. But then again with ears muted to the chaos eyes became more observant. So here stood in front of me a huge crowd that did not technically need to hold on to something to avoid falling as there was no space to fall. And from between the waves of tired working women emerged a budding entrepreneur . . . a woman selling bindis and hair clips. She maneuvered her way through the crowd like a surfer cutting through the waves.  And then the magic of human mind was displayed. Women who were finding it difficult to keep other’s hair out of their faces now were able to find enough space to hold the box of bindis and clips and chose the one they want! Well shopping is a stress buster too! Trust me, if you travel by train you will notice that area surrounding the odd shop seller is less stressed out with lesser women yelling at each other. I wouldn’t dare to imagine what would happen if two women landed up wanting the last clip of a type though!

And yes the crowd, the chaos, the fatigue gets to you and no human is incapable of stupidity.  We had crossed Khar already and yet the crowd did not seem to lessen which got me worried. Had I boarded a Borivali or Virar train? I checked with a lady and was ensured it’s an Andheri train. So we passed Santacruz and even Vile Parle went by but the crowd did not yield.  From where I was standing, getting down seemed impossible if it turned out to be a Virar or Borivali local. So just when Andheri station was approaching I asked the girl standing in front of me if it was the last stop, to which she affirmed, and to which I asked her if she was getting down! To her surprise and my embarrassment I landed up asking such a stupid question. Later when I thought of it I couldn’t stop laughing at myself. I must have given a reason to her to tell her friends that “some people ask such stupid questions” Well I guess we all contribute the global list of “stupid questions people ask” list… I made mine

So I wondered to myself, am I usually this stupid or was it just a ‘Train Reaction’

12 hours of Sunday 19th Feb - Memories of a lifetime…..

Saturday night was a party night @Hawaiin Shack Juhu. It was a great evening which we had to be called off early as we had an early morning on Sunday to leave for a one day trip to Lonavala. The trip didn’t start as early as we thought it would so it turned out to be a 12 hour trip instead… but what a ‘Trip’.
Bunty & Sneha picked us up at around 12.30 PM. Jimmy was ready since 10 AM (awake since 6!) and was almost at the verge of cancelling the trip… Thank you Jimmy for not cancelling. The drive down till Lonavala is something I can imagine with my eyes closed due to the number of times we have been there. But yet as much as it all remains the same there is something new in it every time.


After one pit stop at Mc Donalds and one at a mall in Lonavala we were en-route to a place Bunty had decided would be the best place to go. The feel for the day was similar to earlier times, good music soothing our souls, booze going down  slower than it does in a party, the sweet scent of cigarettes filling our lungs and yet making us feel lighter (If you know what I mean ). And then we took the detour a couple of kilometers before Ambey Valley towards the Road Less Travelled, and I really want to thank you for that Bunty! The journey from there on was something I will remember for a long time and the hours after that invoked so many different shades of feelings in quick succession it’s not funny.


Our first halt came when we reached a dead end where stood a lovely Villa owned by some industrialist. What a view it was from that point. This sight invoked the feeling of ambition almost immediately and I announced that I’d rather do business so I can build a villa like that someday. Thank you Jimmy, you always manage to wake me up and remind me to go to office the next day. After we turned back from there we got on to a route which only got better. Just by a small bridge there was a very narrow stream where we stopped. The place was picture perfect and Jimmy found her profile pic there ;) It’s been years that I have been to a place like that and the view of mountains, streams and the sound of the silence around just takes away any fatigue that you are carrying on your body or soul. The water in the stream was cold in contrast to the scorching heat of the sun that was burning our skin. So after a very short halt we hopped into the car again and proceeded to the ‘destination’.


After a long drive through a narrow road which was accompanied by a jungle running alongside it we reached the destination. The place was a huge chunk of land with a house located on one corner, where the only care taker was an old man who limped and had to use a stick for support. In fact he was the only other soul on that large land apart from us 4. There was another unoccupied cottage a few yards away and the gorgeous mountains overlooked the place while one overlooked the valley standing at the corner of the land. The feeling of serenity hit like a cold wave.


After a few pics, ciggies and gulps of wine at the spot where the land overlooked the valley, we headed back towards the car to listen to some music. Just then Jimmy decided we should have tea and possibly cook some rice. So we both went to the house to see what we could get. The old man (I will refer to him as mama from here on) told us that he could not cook anything but we were free to do so if we wish to.  Normally that would sound like an easy option; however, we had a challenge before that. There was no electricity and it was already a little dark. Although the sun had not dipped in the sea yet, the house was facing East and the interior of the house was very dimly lit by the setting sun. Mama offered to light a Kandil for us or he said we could put on the generator. From here the feeling of total fear.. More like spooky fear set in.
Jimmy readily agreed to put on the generator. I was a little skeptical about it as the generator was is the back yard and I was already spooked out.  We walked into the backyard waiting for mama to join us. He took a while to walk it till there as he was very old and limped. But honestly I was so spooked that I was imagining him walking out of the house door that opened to the backyard with some kind of weapon. Its moments like these when you can hear the little voice that is said to rule most people’s life …. Our Heartbeat! I could certainly hear mine.

Jimmy had thought switching on the generator would mean pushing some switch on. Well it was an old school generator which I was expecting and since mama was too weak to turn the turbine the task was up to us. We thought of calling Bunty to do it and then decided against it as we did not want to disturb his trance. So I began turning the lever which was really heavy. The trick was to move it fast in circular motion and mama would press a switch that would start off the engine when the turbine was in motion.  I moved it for a couple of times but the engine did not start yet tiring my lungs out. Jimmy then said she would turn it I told her she won’t be able to turn it even an inch. Well she did turn it and turned it fast…  Jimmy ure strong buddy … respect! So finally the generator was on after 6 to 7 combined efforts and we walked back to make the much awaited tea.

The kitchen had a proper village feel and mama stood at a window in the veranda which connected the kitchen to help us with where we can find the ingredients. He was a nice man but he spooked the shit out of us by saying ‘darneka nahi’ every 5 minutes. It felt like a scene right out of some Bollywood horror flick. I pulled open one drawer where he said I could find a knife. The drawer had different sizes of meat knives and I was horrified. Somehow Jimmy wasn't as scared as I was and that made me feel better. So tea was made, after which we made some masala rice and ate a perfect meal. Nice hot chai, masala rice with the view of a mountain at a place where there were only 5 people for the farthest your eyes can gaze.
After the lovely meal we went back to join the others and then we decided to have a bonfire. Bunty and Sneha collected the wood and we had to figure out how to light them as only paper or match would not be enough. I was feeling too lazy to get up and too scared to go to the house again, yet I decided it’s best to go and get some inflammable liquid to burn the woods, this with the sole purpose of protecting my white wine which Jimmy had decided to sacrifice and pour on the wood to light it!
Bunty and me walked to the house, found some ghaslet and got back to the bonfire place. Well, I couldn't reach on time to protect my wine; it had been consumed by the woods already!. Nevertheless, we burnt the woods and had a great time looking at the dancing flames with great music to accompany it and a roof of stars to gaze at. The whole feeling of fear was replaced by a feeling of being overwhelmed by the beauty of the sky, the wind and the sheer embrace of nature.

Except for the bonfire, there was no light around for miles and so by 9 we decided to head back. We stopped to say bye to mama, paid him and left, but stopped at the property gate as the gate was locked! Mama had not mentioned anything about locking the gate when we said bye to him! Now all of us were spooked. Sneha and Bunty went back to the house to get the keys from Mama. Those 5-7 minutes that it took them to come back were the scariest moments of the night. Mama told them he did not know who locked the door and handed them a plastic bag that had about 30 to 40 bunches of similar looking keys and kept telling them as well - ‘darneka nahi’ and that was enough to spook anyone out . They came back with that huge collection of keys. Bunty started breaking the lock by the time I was looking for the right key; all we could think of is getting the hell out of there. We found the key in no time and left!

The drive back was magical. There were no street lights, no other vehicles or any other form of light on the road. Due to this (and a little intoxication) the headlights flashing on the plants on both sides of the narrow road looked 3D. We got back home by about 12:30 in the night. A good 12 hour trip, which was in so many ways a memorable one.

I often see life in a weird way. Sometimes I think of it as a movie, sometimes as a game, sometimes a traffic signal and what not! Well yesterdays trip was a combination of a movie, a game and a little bit of what they say ‘Reality’. Fear leads you to wildest thoughts and it can make a monster out of an old weak man in your imagination.

I feel blessed to have friends like the ones I have.. It takes good friends to turn a travel into a good journey!